50 Ways Dogs are Better Than Women

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Edited by James Buck

1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

4. Dogs are excited by rough play.

5. Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

6. Dogs understand that farts are funny.

7. Dogs love red meat.

8. Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

9. Dogs don't shop.

10. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

11. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

12. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

13. Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

14. A dog's parents never visit.

15. Dogs love long car trips.

16. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

17. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs are made to be hunted.

18. Dogs like beer.

19. Dogs don't hate their bodies.

20. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

21. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

22. Dogs never criticize.

23. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

24. Dogs never expect gifts.

25. It's legal to keep your dog chained up at your house.

26. Dogs don't worry about germs.

27. Dogs don't want to know about every other dog that you ever had.

28. Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

29. Dogs don't let a magazine article guide their lives.

30. Dogs would rather have a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

31. You never have to wait for your dog. They are ready to go 24 hours a day.

32. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry.

33. Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

34. Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

35. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

36. Dogs can't talk.

37. Dogs aren't catty.

38. Dogs don't mind at all if you leave the toilet seat up.

39. Dogs seldom outlive you.

40. Dogs don't cry

41. Dogs love it when your friends come over

42. Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo

43. Dogs think you sing great

44. A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink

45. Dogs don't expect you to call if you are running late

46. Anyone one can get a good-looking dog

47. When a dog gets old you can put it to sleep

48. Dogs don't make you watch Grease over and over again

49. Dogs don't have lunch with previous owners

50. Dogs never want foot rubs